I Speak American

Ricky Bobby said it best-this is America, we speak American. Nobody could have said that better. This is America and we do speak American. Honestly, American sounds pretty stupid. We say things like "come swoop me up" instead of saying "come pick me up please". We say thing like "man, I'm tryin to get at some food" instead of "I'm hungry".



And I'm not excluding myself, I say things like "I'm hungry as tits". What in God's name does that mean? Although, I do get my point across. All I said was "I'm hungry as..." followed by an expletive, and people love expletives. They love them so much that they laugh and now know I want food.


So what is speaking American? I think speaking American is our own unique lingo. It's our special sauce concoction of cliches, sayings, slang and somewhat shattered English. A language that everyone has their own spin on.

The British

When I think of the British I think of fish and chips, Churchill, those guys in the big hats, and vinegar. Most people think of them as very articulate and well-spoken. I think we're giving them too much credit. The Brits say things like "would you like to come over to my flat?" Which to most sounds fantastic. People think - "Oh that's so cute, he has an accent.""I say - what's a flat?" If someone said "would you like to come over to my flat" in a ghetto accent, the story would be different. Calling your apartment a flat would sound completely obscure. It's all in the delivery. At the same time if a Englishman said "let me holla at you" everyone would think it was fine and just some charming English lingo. The accent tricks us. Americans sounding stupid may just be in the delivery.

So maybe we don't sound so ridiculous. Maybe this massive melting pot has some crazy-way-of-speaking crust hardening on the sides of it. And you know what? The crust is the best part.